Phoenix
by depraved oracle
Summary: This is the type of world where you cannot run from your destiny. So if you don't like it, destroy that destiny with your own hands. Burn everything, and rise from the ashes... Like a phoenix reborn. [ eventual sinju ] (slight au. slight OOC)
1. Prologue

**_Prologue_**

 ** _※_**

* * *

 _Hurt._

 _It was what Judal felt._

 _He saw it. He saw how his biological family was killed, by those people who supposedly raised him. People who made him into what he was today._

 _A_ _killing machine... Someone who loves the sight of blood and war._

 _But was it really right?_

 _He was a magi. Someone who was supposed to guide the people they chose as their kings, not someone who takes other people's lives._

 _He couldn't help but think... What if he wasn't kidnapped by Al-Thamen? Would he be a better person? Would he be a good magi? Would he be... would he be... happy?_

 _So many 'what ifs' whirled in Judal's mind, but he chose not to dwell on them._

 _The past would never change._

 _What he should focus on is what he would do from today onwards. His future is for him to mold, after all. Not Al-Thamen's. Not anyone's, but his._

 _And right now, he doesn't care about anything but finding out who he really is. Which parts of him are really him, and which parts of him are only planted by Al-Thamen?_

 _He would figure it out. He would pick up fragments of his life and become someone who is his own person. He wouldn't bend to another's will anymore._

 _From now on, no one will tell him what he can and can't do._

 _He will change for the better._

 _Destiny? Fate? Curse those things._

 _He was going to crush them with his own hands by deciding his 'destiny' on his own._


	2. Abyss - I

_**Abyss**_

 **※**

 _ **{ i }**_

* * *

 _ **" And all the people say, 'You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are n**_ _ **ot a human being.' "**_

 _ **ㅡ Gasoline; Halsey**_

* * *

It was another boring day at Kou. Judal was perched on a sturdy tree branch and he sighed as he munched on another peach, frowning as he continued to sort out his thoughts. Ever since that incident where that little magi showed him his past, he was growing more and more restless. He knew it wasn't like him. Usually, he would just brush off those things without a care, but now, he started dwelling on it like some sentimental idiot. But no, he's not thinking that much about the past. He's mulling over himself. His beliefs, his morals, his goals. His purpose.

A lot of people know what magi are. It's like a basic piece of information. Magi are people that guide kings. They are loved by the rukh, thus giving them an unlimited supply of magoi. They are one of a kind and are amazing creatures. This information had been drilled into Judal's head ever since he was a child. That he was 'superior' to everyone else because of his status. But was it right to use his power as a tool to aid those in Al-Thamen? Not that he had a say, because he had been taken by them when he was just an infant.

He really should stop thinking about it because it obviously was pointless, but he can't because he's tired. Tired of being a tool that is only used as an object for experiments or a tool for magoi supply. He's tired of people wanting to control him all because of his power. He snorted. That's his only worth, wasn't it? His power. But without that, he was no one. No wonder the wandering magi don't involve himself with kings and king candidates much anymore.

For the umpteenth time, he sighed. What good will musing about this for hours bring him? Well, to hell with it. He will just do what he wants and do everything to stay out of that blasted organization's control and wipe out their influence on him. The last one is probably impossible because they had raised him after all. But it couldn't hurt to try finding out who he really was without those bastards breathing down on his neck. But first, how was he going to evade them?

His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. He looked down to see Kougyoku, wandering the palace alone. He jumped down and landed on the corridor she was wandering at and blocked her way.

"Yo, old hag." he greeted with a smirk. Kougyoku glared at him in response but said nothing. "So what is your boring self planning to do today?" he asked. She glared at him again. "None of your business, Judal." She answered and walked past him. "Hey, if you have plans, can I join you? I'll do anything to get away from those priests for a while, you know. I'd rather hang out with a hag like you than be experimented on." Judal said as he followed her. She stopped walking to glare at him again and said, "I said it's none of your business, Judal." and continued to walk away.

Judal looked at her retreating form with confusion. She was definitely acting strange. Usually, the princess would instantly become flustered and annoyed when he calls her 'old hag' and she usually acts whiny to him. But just a while ago, she had coldly brushed him off as if she was angry but he knew he did nothing wrong. Was it because of the stunt he pulled in Sindria while she was there? Well, he pulled that stunt off impulsively because of his recent frustrations but still, Kougyoku's loyalty to the empire and her brothers is unwavering. She wants to be a warrior for her country, right? It was so unlike her to care about anything other than her brothers and the empire. Something was definitely off with her.

Why is he looking so deep into it, anyway? He already have a lot on his plate so Kougyoku's problems are none of his business. He still has to face the consequences of his actions like declaring war on Sindria. While he knows that Kouen would indeed support him with it, he hadn't really meant to do it. He was just so confused and frustrated that he directed it to them. And he didn't exactly lie when he said that he didn't really care about his troublesome past, because he couldn't really do anything to change it. But that didn't mean that he hadn't felt something strange when he laughed off Sinbad's sympathy. But yes, he would only do as he pleases from now on. The problem is, Al-Thamen would only try to control him as long as he was within their reach.

He bit back a frustrated scream.

He really wanted get out of this place without looking back ever again.

* * *

A few days later Judal found himself wandering the streets of Reim. He was bored because he had nothing else to do and he just loved to get out of the organization's sight from time to time. Well honestly, not just from time to time. All the time.

So the magi is now sightseeing in Reim, but he was still bored. Maybe an audience with their priestess would take away his boredom. Meeting a fellow magi is a different type of experience after all. But then again, this one is an old hag. He'd probably be bored to death because he bets she's a serious person.

So... what to do? He has to at least have fun before he goes back to that hellhole of a palace where those priests and that witch are breathing down on his neck. And they'd probably punish him for running off for so long. He had been wandering around from place to place for a few days now and he's not planning to go back there anytime soon.

* * *

Lady Scheherazade, age 268, the High Priestess of the Reim, reeled back as she sensed a dark presence within their empire. She walked towards the balcony and saw a lot of black rukh swarming the streets. It was most likely invisible to most people but she could see them.

Her eyes finally found the source of it. It was a young man wearing middle-eastern clothes with a long dark braid and scarlet eyes.

Her mind automatically pieced everything together.

Middle-eastern clothes. Braided black hair. Scarlet eyes. So much black rukh.

It was the magi of Kou Empire. Judal.

What is he doing here? Scheherazade had heard of stories of how the magi of Kou was cruel, bloodthirsty and absolutely loved war. So why is he here, just walking around as if he was one of the citizens of Reim?

But instead of ordering someone to take him to her, Scheherazade decided to let the other magi be until he decides to wreck something in their country. It is the better option because she is sure that he would cook something up if she demands to know why he's here.

She sighed and went back inside, hoping that she wouldn't regret her decision.

* * *

He then went to Sindria the next day. Judal doesn't want to admit it, but he likes Sindria. The warm atmosphere (literally and figuratively) comforts him before he even notices it.

No one aside from Kougyoku and Kouha really knew that Judal was paying Sindria random visits without Sinbad and his Eight Generals knowing. He always told himself that it was because of the food or to spy on the 'stupid king', but he knew that he was just lying to himself. He always had this genuine desire of being Sinbad's magi.

But he knew that it won't happen in this lifetime. He had done so many cruel things to Sinbad and he'd be lying if he says that he doesn't feel anything about it. He had always felt some emotion churning on his gut whenever he thinks about it, but he doesn't know what that emotion was. Because the only he emotions he experienced up to now are bloodlust, hate, anger, and hurt. Which is why he envied everyone else in here, and why he claimed that he wanted to destroy this country. But he won't. Because this is the only remaining place where he actually feels safe, as long as he stayed out of Sinbad and his generals' sight, that is.

There was a feast here again tonight. Judal didn't know or care what the occasion was. All he knows is that he'll try to forget everything for a while tonight and eat and dance to his heart's content... And avoid getting spotted.

He sighed. But despite that, he couldn't shake off the dread he's feeling when he thinks about going back to the palace.

* * *

Judal still did not want to return to Kou, so he wandered and traveled around until he unknowingly reached the Dark Continent. He roamed around for a while and sighed. It was such a boring place.

And then he felt it. The strange stir of the rukh as he sensed another person's presence. This had only happened twice before. When he met that little magi and he was near the palace of Reim... Which only means that only magi could produce that kind of reaction from the rukh.

He slowly turned towards the person he sensed.

Braided blonde hair. A fishing rod as a staff and visible rukh fluttering around his form.

This could only be Yunan, the 'wandering magi' or 'the magi of the great rift'.

"Greetings to you. I don't really want to come off as rude, but what are you doing here, magi of the Kou Empire?" Yunan asked.

Judal bit back a snide remark. He had to be nice. Well, not exactly nice. He doesn't really know how to be nice but polite, at least. Provoking Yunan with a rude comment would probably result into him saying goodbye to the dark continent and honestly, Judal doesn't feel like fighting nowadays.

"It's alright, I understand. Don't mind me. I came here on my own will. I wasn't ordered by the organization or anyone from Kou to come here. I just wanted to run away from everything for a while." he replied, which greatly surprised Yunan. He somewhat knew that the younger magi was bloodthirsty and rude and cruel to everyone.

He did caught glimpses of Judal quite a lot of times before, and he noticed that the other magi seemed... different. The look on Judal's eyes somehow reminded him of himself. He looked quite empty and lost. A shell.

Yunan didn't consider himself to be an impulsive person. But as he saw the emptiness in the other magi's eyes, he asked without a thought, "Would you like to stay at my place for a while?"

* * *

Judal found Yunan's company to be quite refreshing. He wasn't like others that try to talk to him. He didn't push him nor pry much into what had happened that had caused him to change. Sure, the older magi was a bit uncomfortable and guarded at first, but his barrier went down as Judal mentioned that he's growing tired of every shit he got from Al-Thamen and that he was running away from them and everything else for now.

"I think that I somehow understand that feeling." Yunan said with a distant look in his eyes. "I had chosen countless kings but it always ends the same way. It always just produced hatred, greed and destruction. I became so tired of it that I did not ever want to choose another king. But then Sinbad was born. Though his power teriffies me sometimes, which is why I chose to stay out of his way. I am content with not associating myself with kings even if that is my duty. It is my way of deciding what I want for myself. I decided that I will help prevent the destruction of this world, but not by choosing a king. I would do it my way."

Hearing that from the other magi strengthened Judal's resolve. "I want that kind of freedom too, you know." He told him. "I want to be able to decide for myself and be completely myself for once. I want to decide what path I would take and that is all I care about."

Yunan turned to look at him seriously. "Can't you see that you hold your future in your hands? You are the one who's holding yourself back. Not Al-Thamen or anyone else."

"I realized that now." Judal said. "But still..." his words caught on his throat. He never did this before. He never openly voiced out what he really felt about something. He always averts his eyes and pretend to not care about it or not really care about anything.

"It's fine if you don't tell me. You just met me anyway." Yunan told him and gave him a warm smile.

"I don't know... I don't know why I feel like I could tell you anything. I'm just not used to telling anyone things like this." Judal said, and it was true. He felt like he could tell Yunan anything, not just because of his warm aura but also because he understands.

"I see... Is that so?" Yunan murmured.

"Yeah." Judal said and he really didn't know if he would regret it or not, or if he made the right choice of doing it, but he knew that he didn't care. He didn't care that right now, he suddenly poured his heart out to someone he just met, because he is also someone who understands.

* * *

Yunan honestly did not know what to think of the younger magi that he'd been housing for the past two weeks. He was the fallen magi, but he was only a child. He was a bloodthirsty, war-loving person in the past, but it turns out that he was misguided and broken.

The older magi could relate to Judal a lot as well. Being a magi, many others had tried to use him for his power as well. He was tired of the people in the world, but still, Judal was still young. He still have a lot of things to learn and experience before he makes a decision of 'giving up on the world'.

Though, Yunan admits that he didn't mind Judal's company. He was still sarcastic and had a twisted humor, but he was someone Yunan could talk to, as a fellow magi or just as a companion.

"Hey. I'm leaving." Judal said that night.

"Goodbye. I wish you luck and you could stay here someday if you would like to." Yunan said.

Judal smirked. "Sure." He paused, "Thanks a lot, Yunan." he said and left hurriedly.

Yunan blinked after him, but then had a smile on his face. The change in the fallen magi was indeed a shocking but not unwelcome twist in the flow of destiny.

* * *

"Welcome back, Judal." Ren Gyokuen's saccharine voice greeted him as he finally went back to the Kou palace after a few weeks of his sudden departure.

Gyokuen chuckled as Judal tried to mask his panicked expression. "Such a disobedient child." she cooed as he reached out for his face.

Judal was frozen in place, terrified as Gyokuen scraped her nails down his cheeks, making him wince.

"Don't you know that disobedient children are always punished?"

The last thing he saw was Gyokuen's wicked smile, and his world went black.

His mind slowly gained consciousness, but for some reason, he can't open his eyes. And suddenly, he felt it.

Pain.

His body was in total agony.

He didn't know if this was for an experiment or his punishment, but it hurts so much that he almost wanted to die.

He inwardly scoffed. This was the chosen fate for him?

He curses that fate.

That was his only thought as he lost consciousness once more, the rukh around him turning into a deeper shade of black.


End file.
